Bette Davis once famously quipped that “Sex is God’s joke on human beings”. If that’s true, then phone sex is God’s badly delivered knock-knock joke on human beings, one that everybody has already heard and the only laughs it gets are out of pity. Of course, like most things, jokes can become so bad that [...]

By Syd and Ian Once again it’s time for some fantasy match-ups from ConfuseReviews’ resident battle lords Syd and Ian. As you may remember from last time, we hold ourselves to a much higher standard of fantasy fight than your average playground debate. What follows are academically insightful and socially relevant observations that will change [...]

I love being in the generation that first grew up with video games. Just wait until we start getting into our mid-life crisises… Instead of going out and buying that hot rod we never had as a teen or picking up a younger wife (this won’t happen because that would mean having a wife in [...]

Note To The Reader: This article has been transcribed by the staff of ConfuseReviews to the best of our abilities, based on the recovered tapes recorded by our writer Syd and his assistant Doc during their trip to visit H.P. Lovecraft in Providence, Rhode Island during the 3rd week of May 2009. These tapes are [...]

Hey there, Confusionauts! It’s Memorial Day weekend, and you know what that means! … It means… advertisements about charcoal, of course! Hooray! THE EDGE Watch it already! Synopsis: Some poor dope is trying to start the fire in his charcoal grill, but his obnoxious neighbor misinterprets it as a form of Native American communication. On [...]