Well, ladies and confus-o-gents, it’s Halloween, the greatest holiday of all. So what the hell do we here at the greatest website of all have to say about it? Um… Not a damn thing. Here’s a fifteen year old Halloween special. Boo. Watch it already!

Only every so often is it that a holiday comes along on a Saturday; it’s really the perfect thing.  ESPECIALLY a holiday like Halloween, ESPECIALLY since it’s one of the few that seems tailor-made for twenty-something adults.  Yeah, yeah, the costumes for kids and being too old for Trick-or-Treat, but you tell me with a [...]

Ah, Halloween.  That most favorite of holidays.  Many dollars are spent, for candy and costumes and parties.  Children are out trick-or-treating.  Friends are out partying.  And 16 to 35 year old girls everywhere are dressing like sluts. Oh God, this is going to be the best article ever. Halloween is based upon the ancient Celtic [...]

It’s that time of year again, Confusionauts. Maybe you’re out carving pumpkins or making pumpkin pies or collecting candy in little plastic buckets shaped like pumpkins… or maybe you’re like me, and you have better things to do all day than do gourd-related activities. Then again, if you’re like me, these “better things” probably involve [...]

Frankenstein’s monster. Dracula. The Wolfman. Whether they’re snarling at us from the silver screen, having mashes on the radio, terrorizing Abbot and Costello  or adorning cheap cardboard decorations on bulletin boards and shitty restaurant windows worldwide, the original movie monsters are kings and queens of Halloween. With the spookiest of holidays just around the corner, confusionauts, [...]