Previously on our Ad Vs Ad feature, we’ve shown beer ads and we’ve shown soda ads, but never have we gone so crazy as to try and show you ROOT BEER ads! I know, I know, I’m a madman. Please forgive me.

T&A&W

Watch it already!

Synopsis: This commercial is a series of fake takes of the commercial, but they keep getting ruined by mountains of jewelery falling onto the set. As it turns out, it’s Mr. T and he gets angry about the “director” calling his jewelry “silly”. I guess this is supposed to make you want to drink A&W.

Thoughts: I like Mr. T, he’s a cool guy. And because of this, I really hate this commercial. I mean, just what the fuck are you implying, A&W Root Beer? Are you saying that T can’t keep all that bling on just by standing still? That’s ridiculous! Fuck you, A&W.

IBC is Better Than Beer?!

Watch it already!

Synopsis: A man wakes up on a sidewalk with a party hat and a fake rubber novelty arm handcuffed to his own arm. This causes him to freak out, and for the ad to make the outrageous claim that “sometimes the best beer is a root beer”. You fucking wish, IBC.

Thoughts: Have you ever gotten really, really, REALLY blackout drunk from drinking a lot of beer? If so, you are 18 and probably an idiot. In that case, yes, you should be drinking IBC, because it’s awesome. Otherwise, no, beer will not cause you to wake up with a severed arm, unless you know somebody who throws the best parties in the world. Like maybe Mr. T.

Barqtoos? Seriously? That’s the name you came up with?

Watch it already!

Synopsis: Fuck trying to sell you root beer, Barq’s wants you to buy Barq’s Root Beer because it comes with free peel-off tattoos, or “Barqtoos” as they call them. They come in “cool” designs like the Barq’s logo or a retarded dog. Put them on your arm, your leg, or… BOING! Your head! Wacky!

Thoughts: As sad as it is, I remember this ad and I remember this product, but mostly I remember just throwing away these shitty “Barqtoos” and drinking the root beer because Barq’s was the root beer clinically proven to make you burp two or three times as much as any other root beer, and back in elementary school, that’s a big deal when it comes to choosing the right root beer. Ah, happy days.

Final Thoughts: So, from these ads I’ve learned that root beer is loved by Mr. T, alcoholics, and people who like tattoos. Man, root beer is way more grown-up than I thought.