Here you can see the best (and worst) that ConfuseReviews has to offer, as judged by us. Therefore, if you don’t think this shit is funny, you can just go right to hell.

Golden Confy’s – 2009

• Best Article of 2009 – Easter With David Bowie – Syd
• Best Book Article – Spidey Super Stories! – Reid
• Best Film and Television Article – Ten “Great” Movie Ideas – Ian
• Best Food Article – My Family Cookbook, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Alienate My Entire Family Forever – Reid
• Best Game Article – Digital Bullshit- Worst Video Game Weapons – Zach
• Best Holiday Article – Cinco De Mayo With Penn & Teller – Syd and Ian
• Best Music Article – SONGS IN SPAAAACE! – Reid
• Best Misc. Article – Play, Set, Go! – Ian and Brett
• Best N.R.F. – Megaman 5 – Zach
• Best AdVsAd – Factory Outlets for Creativity – Ian
• Best Other Features Article – Employee Evaluation Time- Zach – Ian
• Best Wiki Page of 2009 – Jeff
• Author’s Picky Wiki Award: Reid – Dead Astronauts
• Author’s Picky Wiki Award: Ian – Party
• Author’s Picky Wiki Award: Zach – The Scarecrow Dream
• Author’s Picky Wiki Award: Syd – Bizarre
• The Very Prestigious Brett’s Choice Award – Lo I am Become Uncle Wiggly, Destroyer of Dads – Ian
• Worst Article of 2009 – Cancerous Humor – Ian

Golden Confy’s – 2008

• Best Article of 2008 – Lovestravaganza 2008 – Ian, Reid, Zach, and Brett
• Best Book Article – Serpents! – Becka
• Best Debate Article – Goofus and Gallant: The Next Generation – Ian and Brett
• Best Food Article – A Message from Gerard Depardieu – Syd
• Best Game Article – Ian to the Past – Ian
• Best Holiday Article – Christmas With Tom Waits – Syd
• Best Movie Article – Teenape Goes to Camp – Reid
• Best Music Article – Moose Toonse – Reid
• Best Misc. Article – A Rude Memo to the Confuse Reviews Interns – Syd
• Best NES ROM Friday – Shatterhand – Zach
• Best Ad Vs. Ad – Ad-Man vs. Adetor – Brett
• Best Word on the Street – Patagonicus Rex – Zach
• Worst Word on the Street – But I Don’t WANNA Write! – Reid
• Worst Article of 2008 – S.T.A.L.K.E.R. – Shadow of Chernobyl – John

Golden Confy’s – 2007

• Best Article of 2007 – Don’t Make Me Say Sheeple – Zach
• Best Book Review – Pirates Don’t Do Diapers – Becka
• Best Debate – Union Blues – Reid and Ian
• Best Food Review – Flavors of Football – Zach
• Best Game Review – New Zealand Story – Ian
• Best Holiday Article – St. Patrick’s Day Massacre – Syd
• Best Movie Review – When Are the Robots Gonna Fight Again, Dad? – Randy
• Best Misc. Article – Cat. Poop. Eggs. – Ian
• Best NES ROM Friday – NRF 50th Article Special: “Zelda II – The Adventure of Link” – Reid and Ian
• Best Word on the Street – Spado! – Ian
• Worst Word on the Street – Lights, Camera, Hell-Life: Take 3! – Ian
• Worst Article of 2007 – A Rude Memo to the Harry Potter Fans of the World – Syd
• First Annual Super Special Barely Do My Job Award – Zach

Golden Confy’s – 2006

• Best Article of 2006 – Dew the Due – Ian
• Most Read Article of 2006 – Butter-Corn Soda – Zach
• Longest Article of 2006 – Foreigners – John
• Best New Word Used in an Article – ”Doinkwondle” (from The Hunter has Become the Hunter’d – Zach)
• Best Picture Used in an Article – ”Chimmy the Pimp” (from Jakk D’nyuls Day 2: He’s a Pimp Now – Zach)
• Best Book Review – Time Future – Reid
• Best “Debate” – Onward… to the FUTURE! – Ian and Reid
• Best Food Article – Sammiches! – Ian
• Best Game Review – GUMBY! – Reid
• Best Holiday Article – Deck the Halloweens – Ian
• Best Lexicog Journal Entry – Ass Day 5: Holly Town… Some More – Reid
• Best Movie Review – John Leguizamo: Please Kill Him – Ian
• Best Music Review – Sister Act 2006 – Zach
• Best “Random” Article – 50 Reason Why I Didn’t Come in to Work Today – Ian
• Worst Article of 2006 – Pandemonium in the REID GIVE ME SOME WATERMELON JELLY – Tristan

Seals of Fanciness

• Blowin’ th’ CAP off – Reid
• Fear & Loathing in Happy Birthday – Syd
• Yes it Does: That 1 Guy and the Magic Pipe “PACKS A WALLOP!” – Ian
• Treasures From the Depths Vol. 1: Coocoos and Bogeymen – Ian
• Hey, There’s a Book in this Box of Letters, Too… – Ian
• NRF: “Kirby’s Adventure” – Ian
• Ham•burg•er: Noun, Sandwich, Narcotic – John
• 50 Reasons Why None of You Are Getting Paid This Week – Ian
• The Cabin Ghetto – Hannah
• Souped-Up Bowl – Reid and Zach
• A 2006 Retrospective – Ian and Reid
• Thank You Mario! – Zach
• MS Paint Tutorial – Part 1 – Ian

Seals of Awfulness

• NRF: “Iron Tank” – Reid
• God is a Lazy Asshole – Reid
• Adventures in Sunglassery – Reid
• Bananas: Leathery Devil’s Boomerang Rape Fruit – Ian
• I Likke sCotch – Ian

Seals of Tostiness

• Toast Printing: Now a Reality – Reid

Seals of Artsiness

• Ian