This is the Writers page, where you can search for articles by who wrote them. Exciting, isn’t it? IT SURE FUCKING IS, ASSHOLE!!

Reid

ConfuseReviews.com’s confounding father and webmaster, Reid spends a lot of his time writing all the updates for the site anymore, and also he’s totally awesome and the best, and oh man, is he fantastic! Yes he is. Yes he is.

Reid has been writing since the conception of the site, way back in January 2006, and has written over 750 articles in that time. He’s won several of the site’s awards, including 19 Golden Confy’s, 3 Seals of Fanciness, and 3 Seals of Awfulness.

To see the full list of his articles and awards, click here.

Ian

Ian is one of the Confounding Fathers of ConfuseReviews.com, and was responsible not only for it’s name, but also for pretty much every good looking graphic on the site. He’s pretty busy these days, but he’ll still make time every once in a while to grace us all with his presence.

Ian has written more than 450 articles since January 2006, and won more awards for the site than anyone else, at 39 awards. He may not be as prolific as Reid, but he definitely makes up for it by writing articles people actually want to read!

To see the full list of his articles and awards, click here.

Zach

Zach is one of the three Confounding Fathers of ConfuseReviews.com, and is probably the most consistently angry one of them all. Zach makes up for being abused by stupid things in his youth by lashing out at them over the internet. He is a healthy person.

Zach has over 100 articles, though he’s been writing less and less each year. Since he only did 3 articles in 2010, we can pretty much expect him to write a fourth of an article this year. Somehow. Zach has earned a dozen Golden Confy’s and two Seals of Fanciness for his efforts.

To see the full list of his articles and awards, click here.

Syd

Syd was the sixth writer to join the ConfuseReviews staff, but he’s by far the most prolific writer besides the Confounding Fathers. In fact, he even had a weekly feature for a while there, until he just finally stopped writing forever. Syd is constantly in Zach’s shadow for the “angriest jerk ever” position, and was neck-in-neck with Becka for article count for the longest time.

Syd has written over 75 articles since he started back in February ’07. Of those, nine have won awards, including Best Article of 2009 and Worst Article of 2007. My, how he’s grown…

To see the full list of his articles and awards, click here.

Becka

Becka is perhaps the strangest writer in the history of ConfuseReviews, having a persistently cheery attitude and positive slant towards everything. Obviously, she clashed with the rest of the staff and has since declared that she’s cutting all ties with the site. So you better enjoy what she’s already written, ‘cuz there ain’t gonna be no more!

Becka wrote 35 articles between September ’06 and January ’10, 2 of which won awards. Both of those awards were Golden Confy’s for Best Book Review, and both of those book reviews were of kids books. She obviously had a very specific niche.

To see the full list of her articles and awards, click here.

Brett

Brett is a Mystery Spaceman who sometimes floats by the ConfuseReviews compound to help out with an article or two. His encyclopedic knowledge of 80′s Saturday morning cartoons and the action figures associated with them have proved invaluable on several occasions, and our recurring Ad Vs Ad feature was his idea! Nobody knows when he’ll be back next, so each sighting is a magical event.

Brett has written just over 10 articles so far since February 2008, and half of those have won awards. COINCIDENCE?!

To see the full list of his articles and awards, click here.

John

John wrote a few articles for us years ago, then fell off the face of the ConfuseReviews planet after we made fun of his article about some vidja game about Russians or something. He’s a big meanie jerk doody head.

John wrote 10 articles between November ’06 and September ’08, three of which won awards (and one of those awards was for Worst Article of 2008). Will he ever be back again? Noooooobody knoooooows!

To see the full list of his articles and awards, click here.

Stormi

We wrangled Stormi onto our site with the promise of her very own caiman mascot pal if she only wrote ten articles. So far, this has yet to be done, and nobody’s seen or heard from her for over a year. Well, except for Zach, who married her and in a fit of 1920′s-esque masculinity, locked her to the stove and forbade her from writing internet comedy anymore. Wonder what happened to her…

Stormi wrote seven articles over the last half of 2009 none of which have won an award. Ah well, such is the ways of life.

To see the full list of her articles, click here.

Rob

Rob is a punch-drunk chef who occasionally will write something for us, generally only if it involves playing a lot of video games. Seriously, we got him out of a two year long retirement with Sega Genesis games.

Rob’s written more than 5 articles so far, with no award winners yet. But who knows, one of these days he may end up getting one! Just keep playin’ them video games, Rob!

To see the full list of his articles, click here.

Russell

Russell doesn’t technically write for ConfuseReviews, but just helps out on an article from time to time because he’s so nice. His actual site is Lack of Command, which you should totally check out, dude.

He’s co-written three articles for us so far, all of which are well worth a read (though none of them have won any awards).

To see the full list of his articles, click here.

Randy

Randy was an acquaintance who seemed like a promising writer until he vanished one day. I think he joined the army or joined a luddite cult or something. Anyway, we don’t hold much hope out for any more articles from Randy.

He wrote two articles back in August 2007, one of which won the Best Movie Review of 2007 Golden Confy.

To see the full list of his articles and awards, click here.

Hannah

Hannah lives in Alaska or the North Pole or Antarctica or something like that, and I think wherever she lives outlawed the internet back in 2008, so don’t expect any more out of her.

Hannah wrote two articles in 2007, one of which won a Seal of Fanciness. Fancy!

To see the full list of her articles and awards, click here.

Tristan

Tristan was actually the fourth writer for ConfuseReviews way back in 2006, but he only wrote one article (about soccer) and it was awarded the very first Golden Confy for Worst Article of the year. He never came back after his one and only effort was rewarded with bitter mockery. No idea why.

Oh, and he’s CANADIAN! THE WORST!!

To see the full list of his articles and awards, click here.

Richard

Richard only has one writing credit on ConfuseReviews, which was an article that his brother, Russell, also participated in. By the way, Richard also writes for Lack of Command! Second chance to click the link!

To see the full list of his articles, click here.

KC

Nobody knows who, OR WHAT, KC is. He showed up for a while for one of our MegaSegaGenocide 32-Z articles, then disappeared without a trace. A will-o-the-wisp maybe? Or perhaps he was nothing more than a bit of underdone potato…

To see the full list of his articles, click here.